#3 January, 16th - 22nd
Nicoleta Esinencu

January 16th, 2017
The temperatures are dropping in France and Belgium - there is a blackout and power outages risk. Citizens have been instructed how to survive without electricity.

I think humankind would have a panic attack if the Internet would shut down, especially facebook.

I love useful tips and instructions. Especially those given by politicians and their journalists.

How to survive on 100 Euros per month.

How to eat on 3,98 Euros three meals per day.

Crimean journal. Seven advises how to live without electricity.

1. Gather with your family in an intimate atmosphere and talk to each other.

I lived through Perestroika, the falling apart of the USSR, transition period and independent Moldova.

I know how to survive without gas since I was 14 years old and Russia disconnected us for the first time.

I know how to live with hot water once a week. I know it from Perestroika times.

Daily power outages from 10:00 to 17:00 - from the transition period.

The television that transmits for a limited number of hours per day. I know it from the USSR.

About the utility expenses higher than the wage I know since Moldova became independent.

Or even better without salary. Without public transport. Without light at the staircase. Without street lighting. Without the manhole cover, without asphalt, without... without... without... and last but not least, without rights.

 

January 17th, 2017
I met Manolis, when I was in Greece this autumn; he owns a tavern and is a fisherman. Manolis told me a lot about Greece, the crisis, Grexit and how his life has changed.

I asked him last week whether he wants to be together with me part of “Talking to each other” project, in the frame of the “Festival Prise Directe” in Lille, France.

I will write him a letter and he has to answer to it. Manolis accepted. Today I received the letter from him. Here is what Manolis is writing:

In Greece, 10.000 have committed suicide because they lost everything when they couldn’t pay the loan they took. What is happening right now in Eastern European countries was happening in Greece 15 years ago. Therefore, you have to take care not to take credits you can’t pay back (for the house, weddings, cars, credit cards).
I was in Bulgaria (Sofia) 20 days ago and it reminded me of Athens 20 years ago (good life, luxurious cars, many shops, and a lot of credit cards!!) The monthly wage is 400 Euros and the card limit is 2000 Euro. How can one pay back? In 8-9 years they will encounter the same problems we encounter now.

Greece doesn’t make it anymore to the front page. Everybody is keeping the eye on Brexit. I read a message about Brexit written by a young Moldovan who lives in UK.

The common people in the UK are fed up with foreign people who steal and destroy everything around them. It is full of Roma and Romanians who create problems. Personally, I despise them.

EXIT - If used correctly the exit provides a simple reliable and peaceful way of ending life

 

January 18th, 2017
Moldova holds again the first place in the world at alcohol consumption. Over the last years Republic of Moldova has been constantly in the first three places in this report.

One of the few things Moldova hasn’t tried yet is “Boyaryshnik”. Anyway, I don’t think “Boyaryshnik” consumption is counted by the official statistic, as it’s not considered to be alcohol. It is a cosmetic product for external use only.

“Boyaryshnik” is a tincture or a beauty lotion that contains about 70% ethyl alcohol, much more than regular vodka. The price is lower than the price of vodka. If one dissolves 3 bottles of 100 ml, one may have around one liter of “surrogate” alcohol. It is a cheap alternative to alcohol. The price may vary between 20 and 30 eurocents. Four times cheaper than vodka.

In Russia, public vending machines, selling this drink, have appeared. These vending machines are called “– alchomat”. You insert the coins and you take the drink. 24/24. Comfortably installed at the train stations, close to markets and apartment buildings.

Moreover, one may find counterfeit “Boyaryshnik” which instead of ethylic alcohol contains methyl alcohol and antifreeze. The drink is lethal. Only in two weeks more than 70 persons have died in Irkutsk as a result of intoxication with “Boyaryshnik”.

More than 10% of Russians drink beauty lotions and tinctures. These people are called “boyaryshniki”.

They drink because there is nothing else better to do! This is the general opinion about “boyaryshniki”.

One of the deceased was a kindergarten teacher, the other was a nurse. Did they really drink because they had nothing better to do?

I cannot imagine myself living in Russia. When you have Putin round the corner, Trump doesn’t scare you. It is a kind of immunity.

Petr Pavlensky – the Russian artist who is known for having sewed his mouth, ran away to France. He is accused of rape. The complaint was filed by a “Teatr.doc” actrice. “Teatr.doc” is considered a theatre in opposition.

What is happening nowadays in Russia becomes more and more difficult to understand.

I can’t imagine myself living in Russia. To have Putin deeply implanted in my brain.

The newly elected Moldovan president thinks that Moldova needs a person like Putin to lead the country. A sign of patriotism!

People in this country drink because of patriotism! To keep their country ranked first in the top. I wouldn’t be surprised if this would be the stake of the Moldovan president in his next campaign!

 

January 19th, 2017
Epiphany. One more reason for the Moldovan Orthodox Church to make some more money, besides the monopoly it has over the candles market, candles the church imports from Russian Federation, the dubious relationships it has with the interlope criminal world and politicians, the cars with governmental number plates and real estate businesses.

These days some priests sold bottled holy water. 5 liters – 25 MDL. I don’t even know what is more curious, the fact that the priests sell it or that people buy it.

While the Moldovan president was recording himself naked dipping into frozen water, as the epiphany tradition requests it, because a Christian has to be healthy and strong, and then putting on his shining white bathrobe with the inscription “President” on it, at theatre-spălătorie a young gay was stripping himself off (what a coincidence!) and was asking the public to write on his naked body with a lipstick the words which their friends, family members, politicians or passers-by use to call them and that humiliated them.

Scum!

Satan!

Filth!

Sinner!

 

January 20th, 2017
I didn’t know about the existence of a nuclear briefcase, even though in the USSR we were overfed with stories about different codes and red buttons that could destroy the world in one second. It seems like some of the stories were true.

No. I don’t think about Trump. I think about the man who actually does this: who carries day after day the nuclear briefcase.

I wonder what is written in his job description? Because this is actually a job. It is a job that someone does. Someone wants to do it. I am sure there are some who dream about doing it.

How many jobs of this kind are there? How many people carry a briefcase behind someone, some carry a nuclear briefcase, some a briefcase full of shit. Some are military people, some are journalists, and some are PR and so on.

Some carry Trump’s briefcases, others Putin’s briefcases; others pray that someone will give them at least something to carry. At least a pouch full of shit.

Recently a PR person was bragging to his friends that he succeeded to talk to one’s politician gynecologist in order to discredit her in the election campaign.

Nice job! Good luck!

Question in the kindergarten: Where does your father work?

My father works for Mr. Trump. He carries his nuclear briefcase.

Or

My father is kind of a detective. He investigates whether lady X is virgin or not.

Or

Question in the kindergarten: Where does your mother work?

My mother works for Mr. Oligarch, because she has to raise us and pay the mortgage for the house.

Nice job!

I wish you never get fired! Continue to carry day after day briefcases full of shit!

 

January 21st, 2017
It’s been more than a year since the fire in the Colectiv nightclub in Bucharest. A fire, which killed 64 people.

Today another fire happened in Bamboo nightclub in Bucharest.

If a year ago people rallied and the government had to resign, today people make jokes because Bamboo is a poncy nightclub, it is not a rock club, the music played there is not of good quality, not according to them, so the people who go there are also of less quality.

Do they smoke in clubs? Obviously.
Who? Broadly speaking whores/sluts/strumpets/gold diggers sitting next to an important individual. Why do they make all the running? Because it’s the only chance to represent something. To break the law. Allegedly they are also sly dogs. They are some one. (Actually they are domestic garbage that you just want to put in the trash bag.)
I plead for the existence of some poncy nightclubs. As some kind of natural reserve. Where, in case of fire, they would burn among themselves. – it’s the opinion of a Romanian actor that has gathered 23 thousands likes in a few hours.

A year has passed. Things haven’t changed. Another government, same corruption. Only the title of Bamboo Revolution (versus Colectiv Revolution) doesn’t fit today’s revolutionaries. It’s not their league. It’s too poncy.

The same day in Chişinău a guy is beating a woman on the main boulevard justifying that it is his wife. An “activist” films how the man beats the woman. And a theater announces a new premiere: 'A comic analysis of the changes that take place in women’s life when getting married. The attempt of finding the “right man” causes despair – here is a women problem of all the times and all the places.'

All of this on the Women’s march day. We all count? United against hate? Women are people?

 

January 22nd, 2017
Today is Sunday. My father would call me and say:

- Your mother and I, we made fish soup and polenta. Wake up and come over!

9 months since my father passed away. Almost two years since my mother passed away.

Today I made fish soup and polenta.

 

 

Nicoleta Esinencu, (*1978 in·Chişinău)·studied theatre arts and stage design at the University of the Fine Arts in Chişinău. Her play “FUCK YOU, Eu.ro.Pa!” won the Rumanian dramAcum theatre prize. Due to its provocative stance on Europe, the work triggered furious political debates in Rumania and the Republic of Moldova. Esinencu’s works have been performed in Rumania, the Republic of Moldova, Sweden, Germany, Russia, Japan, France and Austria. She is founding member of the Teatru Spălătorie in Chişinău.
http://www.spalatorie.md